The issues of Ron and many many more
by really-random
Summary: Read at your own risk. watch out for flying dungbombs!


Ron: hey! A weasley free common room!  
  
[Fred walks in with his balls hanging out of his pant singing.]  
  
Fred: Zipidy do da zipidy ae my o my what a wonderful day. Pro-fesser snapes is headin my way. I got news and its gonna be great!  
  
Ron: Like oh my god. Like when did you grow those? Like put them back in fred. Your embarrasing me! (Silently sobs)  
  
[Hermioner stares with her mouth open. IS SHE DROOLING?!?!]  
  
Krys: Lizzy that's sick.  
  
Lizzy: Hey! R u insulting my fantasy???  
  
Harry: Hey! I'm hulliziat-  
  
Hermione (snaps out of trance): HULLUCINTATING!!! HONESTLY CAN U SPELL?!?!?  
  
[draco appears in the common room and grabs Harry.]  
  
Draco: Muhahahaha!!! YOUR MINE NOW POTTER!!!  
  
Harry: HELP ME!!!! AHHH!!! I'm gonna fucking kill you you fucking bitch narrorater.  
  
Krys: Hey! That's not british!  
  
Harry: OH! Then let me bloody edit it for you you bloody Hellion!  
  
Krys: Hey don't blame me. Blame Lizzy.  
  
Harry: HELP ME!!!  
  
lisa: No can do little dude. [starts doin yoga on the commmon room floor.] Oaammmm. Oammmm.  
  
Hermione: Oooo Yoga. I read about it in a book-  
  
Lisa: [snaps fingers, hermiones mouth is covered by metal plate with the ingraving 'I do not read. I cannot read. I am stupid. I am silent']  
  
Lisa smiles.  
  
Lisa: Ahhh. That's better.  
  
Krys: YOUR MUTILATING THE PLOT OF MY BEAUTIFUL STORY!!!!!  
  
Lisa: YOUR BEAUTIFUL STORY?!?!?!?!  
  
KRYS: YEA!!! MINE  
  
[begins fighting]  
  
Harry: Ozzybatbitertoelisp! [waves wand.]  
  
Draco lets go of him. His head is gone.  
  
Lizzy: I suppose that was ypoour brilliant idea krys. Now if you'll excuse me, u made me lose my grooooove. [sits back on the floor in the lotus possition]  
  
Krys: Your humor is so dry. Your embarrasing me.  
  
[Percy strolls into room]  
  
Percy: HEY EVERYBODY GUESS WHAT?  
  
*silence*  
  
Percy: I'M PREGNANT!!!!!  
  
Lisa: NOW LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE!!!!!  
  
Krys: I'll do more if you really piss me off.  
  
Lisa: that's ok, I always fancied percy as gay neway. [winks at percy and wiggles eyebrows at him]  
  
Percy: [ tugs at his collar]  
  
(harry and hermione engage in conversation)  
  
Harry: Hey whatever happens to the witches and wizards that turn eleven in like december?  
  
Hermione:[raises hand and waves it around frantically]  
  
Lisa: [opens one eye]  
  
Krys: Sorry hemione. She wont do ny thing for you now.  
  
Dumbledore bursts in.  
  
dumbledore: I can answer that!  
  
Sorting hat appears.  
  
dumbledore: I'll have them all sorted now.  
  
Dumbledore (We will call him dumble from now on) crouchs down  
  
Professer mcgonnagal: G. I. Joe.  
  
Dumble sits under hat.  
  
Sorting hat: Uh-  
  
An hour later.  
  
Sorting hat: uh-  
  
An hour later. Sorting hat: Uh-  
  
An hour later.  
  
Sorting hat: uh- Sorting hat: Uh-  
  
An hour later.  
  
Sorting hat: uh- Sorting hat: Uh-  
  
An hour later.  
  
Sorting hat: uh- Sorting hat: Uh-  
  
An hour later.  
  
Sorting hat: Uh- "HEADMASTER!!!!!!"  
  
Dummble: Hey that's not a house!  
  
Sorting hat: It is for you.  
  
Krys: This is getting pathetic.  
  
Lisa: [snaps fingers]  
  
Metal bar places it self painfullly on Krys's mouth.  
  
Lizzy: NOW I'M TAKING MY NAME OFF THIS STUPID STORY.  
  
[[raven appears.]  
  
Raven: Sorry. No can do. We want to blame you for this pathetic story. [maniacal laughter]  
  
Raven pauses. Turns to readers.  
  
Raven: Don't even bother to review. These low lives may have put you through a lot of terror today but don't blame them. KRYS WHY ARENT YOU TALKING?  
  
Krys: MmmmMmmMemmeMMMM emme!!!!!!!!!  
  
Raven: LIZZY!!! UN DO IT!  
  
Lizzy: [snaps fingers. Smirks and goes back to yoga.]  
  
Raven: As I was saying, this hp fan fic had mainly nothing to do with harry potter judging by the fact that these bloody assholes wrote it.  
  
Krys messages mouth and makes no comment.  
  
Raven: Well- uh- good bye.  
  
Lisa: MY MOMMY NEVER LOVED ME!!!!!! 


End file.
